Tuesday 25 February 2014

"Assassin's Creed III": Soon to be called "Creed III".

So I got the last installment of AC on Steam for £3.74 during the last sale. A bargain, so it's probably unfair for me to criticise it here.

But I shall nonetheless. Because as engaging and interesting as it feels at times it suffers from the same glaring problems of almost every AC game thus far:

1. The protagonist is far too strong in combat, to the point that it's ridiculous. Combat is too easy, in terms of game mechanics. Stealth is underdeveloped.
2. We're not actually "assassins" in all but the first AC game. We're just playing renegade badasses that go round pulling off crazy martial arts and seducing wenches.

1. Combat:

Point 1 was never such an issue in AC 1. It was fairly plausible that Altair, a ruthlessly trained expert warrior, could perhaps take on 6 or 7 poorly trained Middle Ages militia in a swordfight to the death.

AC II I think was almost the combat apex of the series. It took AC 1 and made it a bit harder. Brute Guards were capable of being quite dangerous, as were the Spear guys, until at least you realised that disarming them both made things much easier.

Brotherhood was a disaster in terms of combat, excellent though the core game was. The "execution" chains made everything boringly trivial: Brute Guards were now just as easy to kill as standard rookie soldiers, and that was a real step backwards in terms of game challenge.

And now, since I missed Revelations, I'm back to AC III. And if anything, combat seems worse than Brotherhood.

My first real fight in AC III was against six soldiers. Redcoats, to be exact. Redcoats armed with muskets and bayonets.

What was my weapon of choice in this dangerous scenario, reader? Have a guess. Yes, that's right, I used my bare hands.

At first kung-fu fighting gun-wielding baddies seems cool, and the animations look fantastic. But the simple notion of fighting with 6 armed men with no weapon and utterly kicking their arses is completely ridiculous. If they shoot at you you get this stupid human shield move which basically gives you an invulnerability field. You can even counter two bayonet charges at once with no weapon yourself!

The core problem is that fighting with any weapon in the game seems to feel identical. You're just as deadly with a sword as you are unarmed, which makes no sense at all. The fact that you never actually have to run from bad guys since you can take on 20 at a time with just your hands really emphasises the weaknesses of the game.

2. The "Assassin" in "Assassin's Creed". Where is it?

This, I think, is the absolute crux of the issue at the moment.

In AC 1, Altair was an Assassin. That was his sole purpose, with some extra story layered in regarding Templars and the Assassin Order. The game revolved around killing high profile bad guys, and dramatically escaping the city afterwards.

The escape scenes were easily the most enjoyable part of the game for me. Running away from the entire city guard while bells sounded out and awesome music blared was exhilarating, and made you really appreciate the parkour mechanics.

From AC 2 onwards, we seem to have drifted from Assassin into the realm of "Generic Male Fantasy Badass Guy". Tons of scenes in the sequels seem to have absolutely no function in eloquently explaining the plot, especially Desmond's plot in the modern world, which feels like it's been going nowhere for decades now.

AC 2 and Brotherhood in particular devoted far too much screen-time to Ezio getting laid with historical women, prostitutes and minor female characters - which I always thought was utterly bizarre. Yeah, we get that the protagonist is supposed to be "cool" and everything, but why is having random sex with every female character the best way to illustrate that? The answer is that it's not. It's a really lazy (and almost sexist) way to try and give a character more depth than a 2d lasercopy.

AC 3 seems to have the same exaggerated "dashing rogue" laziness going on - the first mission with Haytham he already gets about 6 women flashing doe eyes at him in cutscenes or the background.

Other diversions, such as the historical cameos, are at times a bit stupid too. I sighed when AC III introduced me to Benjamin Franklin, and then immediately explained he's lost pages of his Almanac. "That's a fetch quest for completely irrelevant collectibles, then." I thought, rolling my eyes. And it was. It had absolutely nothing to do with the plot.

I'm a no-nonsense Templar assassin (no capital!) who's just arrived in America. Why the fuck would I want to hunt for pages of some guy's missing book strewn around a city? It's totally nonsensical and almost screams "YOU ARE PLAYING A GAME."

Then we have sidequests. Piles and piles of sidequests, inane stuff like delivering letters or stealing from chests or randomly doing errands for peasants (for absolutely no logical reason).

But where are the assassinations? Why do we only get to use our Hidden Blade, apparently the game's signature weapon, about once every 4 hours? Why do we never seem to actually kill any important characters until right at the very end of the game(s)? Why do we never sneak into large restricted zones to silently kill enemies?

The best mission of Brotherhood by miles was the one where you sneak into the huge circular castle to try and kill Cesare Borgia. The caste was enormous and had many different entrances. You could silently eliminate guards and lookouts, and climb all over it with parkour. It was a glimpse of what AC should actually be about - sneaking into a heavily guarded area with all your different skills, to kill an important enemy.

Unfortunately, it was the only mission like that in the whole game, the rest being stupid things like chasing pickpockets or delivering letters to people like some kind of cheap precursor to FedEx.

*Sigh*

Diversion aside, if I play Black Flag I hope it's about the actual assassination again, not just wandering around having conversations that end in collectible hunt non-sequiturs and random cutscenes that don't actually further the plot one iota. But given that the game is now about being a fucking pirate, not an assassin, that's highly unlikely.

What will Assassin's Creed V be? "AC V: Robot Ninja Pirate's Sidequest Simulator." perhaps?

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